Unless otherwise noted, Copyright James C. Hess 2008. All Rights Reserved. Published by Thinking Rock Press, with written permission from the author.

I ALWAYS WANTED to write. But when asked to provide a rationale and justification for this desire, for a very long time I was at a loss. I believe the reason for this was my upbringing: Conservative, pragmatic, and practical. An environment and reality where writing was valued, cherished, and respected, but not seen as a means of income. Writing, according to my upbringing, was something done to show gratitude and appreciation for a gift on a birthday or Christmas; writing was a means of expressing an opinion - a show of support for a candidate seeking elected office; writing was something done as a form of self-expression, self-exploration, or self-definition as a hobby - an act of self-indulgence.

Many years later I came to realize the desire to write came from these things, and from these things, as framed by writing, came truth.

When I started writing, of course, I was not aware of or privy to these profound concerns. All I knew was that I wanted to write, and I did. Late at night, under the covers, a small flashlight in my mouth, a dog-eared notebook propped against my knees drawn just short of my chest, or on the school bus, under the pretense I was doing homework that I had failed to complete previously.

Most of those early efforts are lost to time, and what survived stands as a reminder to the person I was and almost became - had it not been for writing itself.

Writing is a process, pursued in a solitary fashion, involving individual effort, supported by talent, skill, and ability; a discipline, when dutifully practiced, that specifically is considered "Art".

But it is as Art that writing ceases to be a means of self-expression, self-exploration, and self-definition, and, more often than not, becomes the means of self-destruction and ruin: Writers are infamous for tending toward such things as alcohol and drug abuse. Art - what passes for Art, actually - tends to bring this about because it invites the negative instead of the positive.

When I decided writing was to be my discipline I decided I needed to know, understand, and comprehend what writing actually was.

Writing, I determined, as an act of self-preservation, was not about Art but about Asceticism.

It was a difficult decision to execute, and an equally difficult choice to embrace: Had I chosen to pursue Writing as Art it is likely today I would be celebrating another anniversay as a recovering alcoholic or addict, and admitting I had had another affair with someone I was not married to, resulting in the birth of a child born out of wedlock. I would being making excuses to defend my failures instead of championing my success - all manifested from my selfishness as a Writer.

I would also likely be very famous and financially rich beyond imagination.

Writing as Asceticism is the experience of contemplation: Seeing and embracing myself as I truly am, not as others would have me be by way of exploitation of talent and choice of vocation.

By way of this deliberate choice, and reviewing earlier efforts, I learned much of my writing is more mature than that of others considered peers, equals, or rivals.

Writing, by its nature, is a paradox and a contradiction: It is supposed to be about exposing of the human condition - the soul - and from this comes communication that engages, entertains, enlightens, and imparts.

Rarely, though, does Writing attain this lofty and noble goal, for the pursuit of Art is considered far more important.

If Writing is not pursued simply as Art but as Asceticism the opportunity to develop as a Writer who is a stylistic innovator, who uses language reflexively, becomes undeniable, and from this much becomes available: The ability to see the literary life coupled with the Writer and Writing as pretensions, not as reality; the absence of purpose and value, meaning and direction.

The Writer and Writing are at a significant crossroads, and if both are to survive and endure they must bring to their future an emphasis not on Art but Asceticism. They must celebrate and embrace contemplation. The Writer and Writing must shed themselves of outdated prejudices resulting in inaccurate stereotypes. The Writer and Writing must retain the best there was - tradition - while making themselves part of the present and the future. From this will come a denouncement of falsehood, including that which is presently considered Art. From this will come the true nature of the Writer and Writing.